I recently read a statement in a book of religious philosophy that hope and fear are separated only by expectation. I found this to be interesting in its simplicity: Simple because expectations are no more than thoughts or stories that we make up.
As a therapist and life coach this issue of expectation seems at core of so much that deprives us of happiness. In many ways, this statement defines that our expectations can stand in the way of our own happiness. By reducing, eliminating or fundamentally changing our expectations, we can move from fear to hope. To me, and for my clients, it seems that anxiety has a way of paralyzing us into inaction. When this would happen to my clients, my response would be for my client to “take action” when feeling anxious. Having anxiety most times means that you don’t have enough information. Gather information to see if your fear has a realistic foundation. For reasons unknown, we often choose dark expectations and so many times the expectations are ridiculous. Most likely, we have had some bad outcomes in life but we seem to gravitate to more outcomes being negative than outcomes being positive. It takes effort and commitment to stop negative expectations.
While taking a graduate course on addictions, our professor asked us to decide on some simple change we would want to make and then to make and maintain that change for one month. We did this exercise to help build our sensitivity for those struggling to change from drug and other addictions. While this exercise is so simple at its core, the results were staggeringly disappointing. The simplest of change appeared as near impossible or impossible. What in the world was going on here? Through our continued study of change we found that certain elements were typically necessary before change would happen and that maintenance of that change would require, possibly, even more effort or commitment. You know what I’m saying; it’s like New Year’s resolutions. They either quickly or slowly fall apart, but they fall apart.
Most people think that if you just get on a budget, your spending problems will end. With all too manypeople, this isn’t so. Amongst my other duties, I have been working with people who have gotten intofinancial trouble. I am a trained psychotherapist and life coach who was hired by a consumer debtcompany to help their clients get out and stay out of debt.
Looking at life behaviors as well as financial behaviors is essential to help with compulsive spendingbehaviors. To me, they are all related. People behave the way they do for reasons that make sense tothem. The problem being that some of these behaviors are self-destructive and destructive to others.
What are the reasons that someone would continue to buy items that they do not need or possiblycannot afford? Therein lays my mission. A collaborative exploration was necessary to find “the reasons”and to find substitute behaviors rather than the current destructive behaviors to satisfy the reasons. Ofcourse, different people have different reasons. Some common reasons were that people felt unlovedand buying new things would give them a chemical rush not unlike that felt when being in love.
Shopping could bring a sensation of feeling privileged or at least, not denied. Self-esteem or insecurityissues seemed a common thread. Working to explore and resolve these core type issues gives a resultand a more lasting result. The spending is merely a symptom of what is really going on. It is important toaddress the underlying emotions.
This question has been around for decades and still is the one that first pops in to mind after a man, young or old has decided to propose to his love. And of course it is impossible to give an answer that is applicable to every situation and circumstance. However there are some time-tested guidelines and points to consider.
When it comes to getting a new car many people have a hard time deciding whether it is better to purchase the car or lease the car. Sometime people make the wrong decision due to the lack of knowledge.
Many of us have a hard time accepting constructive criticism instead of learning from it. As humans we all have plenty of room for mistakes or to not be as good in certain things as others. It is absolutely up to you to make the best out of constructive criticism because you can learn so much from it. Everyone has a different way to react when they are being criticized for the better. Some people get angry and just walk away from the situation or cry because they are so sensitive and it becomes difficult to deal with the situation. Another reaction to constructive criticism is to talk back in a defensive way because you feel like you are being attacked. I want you to know that these reactions are completely normal and very common.
Bad credit cards are aimed at people who have made mistakes in the past. In today’s tough financial environment getting one can be tricky, but the approval requirements for the cards listed below are less stringent. There are three different types available a secured, unsecured, or pre-paid.
When you think of ways that you can improve your overall health, things like cardio, strength training, and eating fruits and vegetables will probably come to mind immediately. Although all of those things are definitely great for you, they are not the only way you can improve your health. In fact, there is probably someone sleeping at your feet right now while you are reading this. That’s right! Having a pet can benefit your health in many ways.
If you haven’t already seen a copy of your credit report, you should. If you have looked at your credit report chances are that you have found at least one if not many inaccuracies. These inaccuracies although they may seem insignificant can greatly affect your credit score. Read on for instructions on how to dispute these inaccuracies on your credit report.
Many of us at one point in our lives have to face the monster called stress. Stress can make you feel overwhelmed, depressed, distracted, moody and tired. These feelings can affect the way you treat others and with time causing you to loose your relationships with friends, co-workers and even your family. There are different ways to relieve stress to help you live a healthier life all around
